You are viewing stagefright

Truer words have never been spoken...
Happy goddamn New Year.

I had a really amazing chat with my friend Matt the other night that lasted until 2:30AM, and I had enough revelations by the time it was over to have my own lifetime movie.

I was amazed at how much my life could be completely put into perspective by someone I never get to see, but who has known me sixteen years and can tell when I say I'm fine and I'm not... even when I believe that I am. I was amazed at how someone who TRULY knows me could look at my face and see right down to the bullshit I've been cramming into the deepest corners of my effing brainmeats hoping they'd get lost, and help me realize how to deal with them (and that I HAVEN'T been dealing with them thus far).

He also reminded me that I'm too fucking badass and awesome to feel that way. Go Matt. I'd die without him.

So this blog isn't going to be my normal goofy, bubbly, positive shit. I'm in a craptacular mood and am doing this instead of anything productive because I have some SHIT I need to get off my fucking chest.

Raise your hand if you've ever driven above 35mph on an icy road.

You're looking around thinking, "WHY can't all these dipshits find the gas pedal? Do we REALLY need to crawl along at 20mph? It's just a little bit of ice!"

As you sit there swearing under your breath about how everyone's an asshole but you, someone ALWAYS slams on their stupid brakes RIGHT in front of you.

Now let's talk about that feeling.

YOU slam on YOUR brakes.
Your speedometer continues to increase(?!) somehow.
You pump your brakes like those jackass 70s films you watched in Driver's Ed (ten fucking years ago! UGH.) told you to, even though your car HAS anti-lock brakes and you're just being a moron.
If you're me, this is the part where you scream, "FUCKINGSHITGODDAMNIT" while your scalding-hot coffee spills all over your lap because you knocked your hand into that bastard to-go cup on its way from texting in your lap (without looking because I'm a fucking NINJA) to grip the wheel so tight your knuckles burst through your damn skin.
You notice the amount of pavement between your car and that DILHOLE in front of you decreasing exponentially by the second, and you wonder if it's possible to still be maybe a liiiiiittle pretty once the airbag burns your stupid face off.
You glance down at the radio, thankful that if you're going to die anyway, at least Jeff Buckley's coming through your speakers AND waiting for you in the afterlife.

Oh, and your guts tie themselves in that fucking cat's cradle knot we used to do with giant pieces of twine at recess. You feel it from the very bottom of your ass all the way through your heart, which is beating so far out of your chest it's honking your fucking HORN.

THAT feeling has been my life for the last six months or so. That oh-fuck-I-was-way-too-confident-in-my-abilities-and-now-I'm-about-to-smash-my-idiot-cranium-into-something-that-will-obliterate-it-and-I-should've-fucking-known-better feeling.

Lots of assholes have been abruptly braking in front of me as of late.

You wanna talk New Year's resolutions? I resolve to not fucking give up and hit that asshole in front of me.

I resolve to turn INTO the fucking skid, end up on the sidewalk, shaken up but more alive than ever, and still make it to my fucking destination with a good fucking story to tell.

Fuck you, 2011. 2012 is going to be my "summer of George" if it fucking kills me.
Current Mood: restlessrestless
Current Music: "Love You To Death" - Type O Negative
Truer words have never been spoken...
16 December 2011 @ 10:32 pm
Remember me, suckers?!

I started looking back at this badboy a few nights ago when my mother facebooked me wondering what ever happened to it (well after midnight, mind you, because we're trainwrecks). I had to be up the next morning at 7AM, but I of course ended up pawing through a lot of my old braingarbage on here instead...

This resulted in a sometimes-uncomfortable stumble down memory lane that I've been thinking about a bunch since then.

My first instinct upon looking at this was to delete it, or at least make it all private if I chose to ever continue writing in it. My last entry was more than 5 years ago, and there are several parts of me that would like to keep all the crap from my past IN the past. The person I was five years ago is fascinating to me now, even if I am a liiiiiiiiiiiiiiittle embarrassed at some of the things that were important to me back then. Looking at all of this again, I'm remembering lots of small things I forgot about, some embarrassing, some heartwarming, and so on.

Now, I realize, that's exactly the point of having one of these things. You can't ever figure out where you're going until you take a good look at where you've been, right?

Since the advent of myspace and facebook, I've barely even looked at this thing. I blogged a little on myspace, but once I switched my internetlife over to facebook, I've done less blogging and more witty facebook status quippery.

I'm a little older and wiser now, so this might actually end up being something interesting someday. I'm not going to edit any of my old entries, either. What's done is done. Who I was is the reason I am who I am. If anyone feels the need to creep, I can't be held responsible for the moronic garbage there is to find in this thing...

I'm hoping to keep this journal alive from here on out... I want to be able to look back at this and really remember the dopey shit that happens in my day-to-day existence without having to search through my entire facebook or whatever. I'd do a vlog if I could stomach taking the time to figure out a webcam... but who knows when THAT will happen?

So, el jay, you're going to be my snugglebuddy again until further notice...

First order of business, make a new goddamn icon. "Pin-up Pride?!" Who the eff was I kidding?
Current Mood: nostalgicnostalgic
Current Music: The Simpsons Movie... ohyeah.
Truer words have never been spoken...
29 July 2006 @ 03:28 am
So, this evening, during my nightly bout of insomnia, I decided to bust out the DVDs that have been ripped from old home movies. Talk about strange. I saw my parents actually HUG each other, and I came to the realization that my new years 1992 resolution was to "go bowling." I wonder if I went. I better have.

Anyway, I grabbed a bunch of random quotes to throw in here that made me chuckle:

My grandfather, to a friend on the fourth of July as he walks up the driveway:
"I'm gonna give you a hug... come 'ere ya old fucker!"

That was momentous. I've NEVER heard my grandfather say "fuck." I've only heard him scream "SHIT" at the TV during sporting events.

My mom on how nice it is that my father cooked Christmas dinner:
"I had to marry an Italian. It was in my contract."

Last, but not least, this exchange came from when my father opened a Christmas present containing lots of nick-nack snacks and stuff, which he dubbed "the goodie box."

Dad: "Oooooh, the goodie box!"
Mom: "Aww, you got macadamia nuts?!"
Dad: "Yup, and they have only MY name on them."
Mom: "Ya wanna share 'em?"
Dad: "Ya wanna walk home?"

Current Mood: Insomnia.
Truer words have never been spoken...
22 June 2006 @ 03:57 pm
CC Deville threw me a pick.
Rikki Rockett threw me a drumstick.

How was your night?

Also, happy birthday obigrrl! ;o)
Current Mood: excitedexcited
Current Music: "Ride the Wind" - Poison
Truer words have never been spoken...
03 June 2006 @ 12:32 am
This will (hopefully) be the first of several entries in the future...

As some of you may or may not know, one of my big ambitions is to become a tattoo artist. I've been building my portfolio only since May 15th, and I've taken some crappy digital pictures to document my progress for anyone who cares. I know they're not perfect, but they're certainly not bad for me having not picked up a pencil in at least four years.

I've been freehanding images of traditional and common pieces of tattoo art to hone my freehanding. I've been coloring them with colored pencils for shits and giggles. The coloring of the actual photo is crappy since it's super-dark in my room, and the flash casts weird glares on some of them. The weird angle is from me just being lazy and shooting the book sitting down instead of standing up.

Again, I KNOW THEY'RE NOT PERFECT, but I'm proud of them, so nyah.

Enjoy!Collapse )

Aaaaaaaaaand that's all I've got for now. Thanks for looking. :o)
Current Mood: creativecreative
Current Music: "She" - The Monkees
Truer words have never been spoken...
and it rules.

In other news, my birthday is in 19 days (since it's past midnight). I'll be 21. 'Tis my golden birthday.

I have front row tickets to Poison.


I'm totally going to wear one of those obnoxious "Birthday Girl" tiaras that are meant for 7-year-olds to the show.

More importantly, my daddy's coming out here (hopefully) in August. I can't WAIT. I miss him and Julie so much.

That's all. Hooray for random updates!
Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: QUEEN!
Truer words have never been spoken...
26 May 2006 @ 10:25 pm
Pretty?Collapse )
Truer words have never been spoken...
19 May 2006 @ 03:51 pm
This is my "serious" model face:
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Truer words have never been spoken...
17 May 2006 @ 01:57 am
There's nothing sexier than a painted-on mole and a newly-pierced nose.

Seriously!Collapse )

I want to be the kind of pinup you see in tattoos.

I also want to be the one to do said tattoos.

Current Mood: Pretty!
Current Music: "King Crybaby" - The Crybaby Soundtrack, bitches!
Truer words have never been spoken...
12 May 2006 @ 07:05 pm
Quotes of the week:

Bill: "Hey, Cherry, I'm starting a new show, it's going to be called, 'The Bill Saveley Tanktop Hour.' What do you think? It'll just be me working out in different tanktops."


Tom: "*messing with the hot fudge dispenser, not getting it to work* Hey, Bill, when you get a chance, could you take a look at our fudge pump?"
Me: "*echoing Tom* Yeah Bill, can you check out his fudge pump?"
Bill: "*shakes head and leans down on food counter*"

I'm sleeeeeeeeeepy. I'm alive though, I promise. Since the show ended, I've been trying to get my life back into a productive swing. I'm working all the "money" shifts at Ed's, and, for all extensive purposes, I think I landed a job at Torrid. Fuckyeah! All the girls there call me Cherry, too.

Laura comes home tonight and Jake got us tickets for Alice Cooper on July 15th. 6th row or something. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

Life is good. :o)
Current Location: Jake's house!
Current Mood: lovedloved
Current Music: Jake drumming.